Where have I been?

Out.

What have I been doing?

Nothing.

Otherwise, I might have noted that Donald Trump is one scary sumbitch. Or who the hell is that woman running against McCain, and for heaven’s sake why. I did pause to wonder why we don’t settle for mutually assured destruction in the Middle East, specifically Iran. After all MAD worked well in the Cold War. Why not in the Middle East?

Speaking of war, does any politician in this country ever take note that come September We the People have been at war for 14 years? A google search on the question of how many Americans have died since 9/11 came up with the number 6,600. Whoever is elected in November, 2016 will be our third war president and offer the prospect of another 8 years of war, death, destruction and drones.

Where have I been?

Hiding.

Governor Ducey recently said Arizona excelled at water conservation. It is true south of the Gila. As the Salt River Project routinely floods lawns via canals by the acre-foot, it’s questionable whether it is true of the state as a whole. Tucson was certainly a water conservation pioneer. It was accomplished by increasing water rates. This was not a penny-ante increase. It led to the great dearth of Tucson lawns and the use of recycled water in some golf courses and playgrounds. It was an enormous increase. And it elicited an enormous response. This is a blog post from four years ago that celebrated the four council members who voted to increase rates and thereby were booted from office or left for acting responsibly.

 

Tucson’s recall election of January 1977 had all the sense and feel of a mob lynching rather than an exercise in representative democracy.

Three members of the city council were trounced and booted from office. They were guilty only of  [Read more…]

Drag out your copy of the White Album and listen to “Happiness” while you read this piece.

I had no idea that white males in this country were so downtrodden. My heart bleats (in this case it’s just gas). Read this.

We liberals hold that there are few more evil arch conservatives than the billionaire Koch brothers who are reportedly about to spend $900 million to elect equally evil, right-wing candidates.

However:

In 1974, Charles Koch founded the Cato Institute, a libertarian conglomeration of economists and political scientists and other scholars of the Libertarian persuasion. You should, therefore, consider Cato as the offspring of the Koch boys.

What’s more:

The Cato Institute has for years advocated unrestricted immigration. It is at the heart of its free-market argument. Cato (and Koch) for decades have held that Dreamers and their families in all the countries in all the world ought to be able to roam free to work where they like as they like. This should be true, according to Cato, for immigrants in Africa and the Middle East seeking to work in E.U. countries. Here is a Cato video of one of its scholars advocating unrestricted immigration.

This is not an extreme argument, the Joe Arpaios of the world notwithstanding. Indeed, it is rational. Immigration enforcement has cost billions and thousands of dead Mexicans and Central Americans. The waste of blood and money has been staggering. And the worst of it is that it continues.

We note that one of the bikers in the Waco kerfuffle made bail. It was set for all 170 hog lovers at $1 million, the judge being one of those bench sitters who takes exception to nine deaths.  Thing is, we don’t know whom shot who; the whoms might include the cops who apparently knew there was a pow wow in progress and had some inkling of trouble. So far whom only knows.

The bail thing raises the question of whence comes the dinero, dude?

I figure he/she must be stock market whiz.

OK, this is pissy. I admit. But could you call it something other than “Deflategate”? Please? In the great scheme of world history, letting the air out of a frozen football ranks pretty low on the scandal totem pole. This business of labeling every tom, dick and harry scandal trivializes a great historic presidential scandal. Watergate led to the eviction of Richard Milhous Nixon from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. “Deflategate’ has led to our-game suspension for Tom Brady.

I happen to think that the worst of Tom Brady’s sins will not necessarily include letting air out of a pigskin. Lying about it is much worse. The suspension by the National Felons League will cost him a few hundred grand. In one sense it seems harsh. Doubtful Brady needed less air in the ball, particularly given the fact that New England left the entrails of the Indianapolis Colts all over the Northeast. The score was top heavy, the game was boring, the Colts defense abysmal. The best you could do was drink a lot of soda and fill up on chips and salsa. It was a game that made the commercials fascinating and engrossing by comparison.

Watergate, in great contrast, was the height of political drama — “what did the president know and when did he know it” and the wiggle-waggle eyebrows of a country lawyer from North Carolina.

Call it something else, like the least of the NFL’s problems.

For those of you who have sampled the product of my pink grapefruit tree, I am pleased as punch to report that this season all appears promising. The tree flowered with gusto this spring and incipient fruits are appearing. I estimate conservatively the tree last year produced between 60 and 70 grapefruits. I experimented with a new fertilizer. Its incredibly high nitrogen content reminds of the brains of some newspaper publishers.

Here is a picture of the venerable tree. Last year it suffered severe sunburn on its trunk. I was told by experts that I should use something called tree wrap rather than use paint to protect its bark. It flaked off in about a month. Hence, the paint. The bale of alfalfa is to be used for mulch.

The roses also have prospered, indeed flourished, with this new fertilizer. At last count, I have 32 roses. Sometimes the count is 31, and sometimes it is 33. I am not entirely certain of the reason for the discrepancy. I suspect it has to do with all those dank and dark years being forced to rub elbows and balance sheets with knuckle-dragging corporate executives.

 

Not all my vines are happy would-be grape producers. Strangely enough, I have one vine, a table grape variety called the dark putin, that grows a few inches a day. Here is a shot of this putin — sometimes called the puta — engulfing a desert willow tree:

As you can see, it an acquisitive vine, seeking to engulf, indeed steal, lots of territory.

Here are a shot of a couple other vines:

In contrast to the puta, these vines are timid. They lack vitality. This is, as Churchill might say, a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

The kumquat tree was pruned in January, excessively so, I am afraid. I got carried away. But I had my reasons. I have accused it of having buckled my concrete patio with its engorged roots, causing consternation, hand wringing and a plethora of unnecessary expense. Its response is to feign disinterest while sprouting brand-spanking new shoots all up and down its trunks. To wit:

 

To me, this is nothing short of hubris. It seems determined to cause further mayhem, kumquat may.

Thanks for allowing me this rant, mulch obliged.

Until Islam can do what Judaism and Christianity have done — question, critique, interpret, and ultimately modernize its holy scripture — it cannot free Muslims from a host of anachronistic and at times deadly beliefs and practices.

from Heretic: Why Islam Needs a Reformation Now by Ayaan Hirsi Ali 

Dear Guv Doogie:

Next year tuition at the UA will rise to about $11,400. About a $500 increase because of you, your backward thinking and the $99 million cut in the universities budgets.

Next year tuition at the University of Florida will be $6,310.

Arizona used to be compared to Mississippi because we were usually as stupid as they were in funding education. This year Ole Miss is charging $7,100 in tuition. Even the University of Texas charges less — $9,798.

Just thought you’d like to know some state universities haven’t privatized just yet. But we are on the way. The budget for the universities is $667 million decreased from $768 million. The budget for the prison system is $1.3 billion, increased from $997 million.

You do love your prisons, don’t you.

Very Truly Yours,

John Dewey